Wednesday, July 11, 2012

problem or opportunity?

Have you ever heard how you talked? I realized something today while bullshitting with my colleagues.
I always see the problem in any situation. Any given situation, i will first think of the hurdles, not the possibilities. I believe this way of thinking is not the way it should be. In fact, a problem is an OPPORTUNITY. Only through this way, and i believe is the only way, to make us achieve our wildest dreams.

So the conclusion: see every problem as an OPPORTUNITY. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IS THE OUTCOME.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

everybody is selling the fish...

lately i have come to realise the fact that human being by nature is selfish. the only difference between each of them is the level of selfishness they are in...

selfish < selfishER < selfishEST < sell ALL THE FISH.

here are the examples:

1. we always say we wanna protect the earth, but once you have a choice between $$$ or preserving the forest, you'll close one eye and chop off all the trees...and saying to yourself, well, i am only chopping a few trees, see the guy next door, he is chopping the whole foresT! so that makes me NOT GUILTY! so what the fuck!

2. a big team of developer, engineers and architects i work with right now, took all the efforts to get the certification of LEEDS (simply means a paper saying you are GREEN, and you now can use this to con other stupid ass), but put a blind eye to the trees that they chopped and cleared off during the earthworks stage. Again, they thought, what the fuck, i don't wanna delay the project by creating issues, as long as i got paid on time by my client.

3. those LYNAS plant. They wanna use iphone3,4,4s, samsung galaxy s1,s2,s3, and toyota prius, prius c, and hybrids, fully aware that these are the things that use all the rare earths, and yet they condemn those fuckers who built the plants. the plant builder is the fucker, we as the user, is slightly less of one, but STILL...a FUCKER.

4. LRT routes. they wanna lrt service, but when a lrt station or rail is built right behind their house they complain like lanjiao. everybody wants the sweetener, nobody wants to eat the "fu kua". that is how nature it is.

5. Last but not least, i hate those people who say: "when it comes to money i am merciless!". to these ppl, i say "there is still a limit of how many notes you can stuck inside your coffin!"
Yes, i am referring to you!!!! You fucker!~~~yes! YOU!!! SK DING! YOU LanJIAO!~~~

p/s: i am also a fucker, lanjiao, and all those described above...i am striving to be the least damaging one...well at least i try.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Finally, I knew the story of ALiCe in WonderLand!

Heard a lot of Alice in Wonderland, tumbling down the rabbit hole. But never really knew what the fuck is all that until yesterday. No, I won't be silly enough to read the book. But the summarized version in the movie format, I am all for it. Actually, i didn't think it will be this good. It is actually a fantasy film, but with a heavy dash of comedy nature in it, and it does convey strong message...

It teaches you this:

1. Always believe the impossible, and do it. People will laugh at you, say that you're bonkers, but worry not, for all the great men are once bonkers too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter's temperature]
Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lord Ascot: Charles, you have lost your senses? This picture is impossible.
Charles Kingsleigh: Precisely. Gentlemen, the only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe it's possible.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2. Don't always accept what is served upon you just to please the masses. If you don't like it, say NO and do what you really want.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Alice Kingsley: Who's to say what is "proper"? What if it was agreed that "proper" was wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Alice Kingsley: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told where I must go and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is *my* dream. *I'll* decide where it goes from here.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

3. Enjoy yourselves when the time has come...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Mad Hatter: When that day comes I shall futterwacken... vigorously.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

what i understand from the movie "BIG"

This movie starring Tom Hanks is probably being made even before i was born. But a good movie is like a good photo, it lasts through time. And i think this is one of least for me.

From what i saw and understand, the conclusion is this:

We have all lost the child within us. In fact being adult is sometimes so fucking plain boring and uninteresting. In order to become BIG, we actually have to be SMALL...again.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

DO what you SAY and SAY what you DO...

I can now proudly say that I have achieved this status:


No more talk cock but action equals zero. And I'll remember this for the rest of my life.

Although at times, this very principle could also put you in a dangerous situation, but deep inside you know you did something great for yourself, that you honor your own promise to yourself.

And because of this principle i hold, i have made a stupid bet with a sohai that whoever fails will have to chop off 2 inches. At the end of the day, we both get to keep the 2 inches. Lucky, I still remain at 8 inches. I don't know about my sohai friend though. Wow! Talking about high stakes!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

what "despicable me" taught me?

1. That it is possible to steal the moon!

2. That being a villain can be so, so, cool.

3. That Lehman Brothers Bank = Evil Bank

4. If you could dream it, you could build it! (The home-made rocket could be built also mar...)

5. Cookies are the best weapon of all.

6. Some people will never ever be impressed by anything great you have done. All they could say is...huh?

7. Missiles are just overrated, a fat guy could just jump over and dodge them at point blank.

8. In the near future, North Korea will have the most advanced technology, coz they will be the one to invent "Shrink Ray" gun.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

short movie script: don't JUMP to conclusion

imagine this

in a coffee shop....
background music is those old old chinese songs...
scene of the ceiling fans...

scene 1 :
Under the coffee table, the foot wearing a slipper, legs scratching, saw a mountain of cigarette butts piling...
A new butt gets thrown down...and the ant that passes by got stacked by it, and on fire...

camera moves to scene 2: to the left of the round table...
A man's leg on a short, and legs shaking vigorously...
wearing the slipper cap seng tat
a big pile of kuaci was on the floor...

camera moves to scene 3: to the left
A woman's leg wearing a yellow boot aka those phua chu kang style, and beside her is a basket filled with cleaned crabs...
another crab is falling down...

camera moves to scene 4: to the left
A beautiful girls's leg, with nice Jimmy Choo's shoes, nice complexion, and skin is as smooth as the silk...
sexy music on the background...
the floor is clean
the camera focuses on her beautiful legs up the thigh...
but there is this strange zing-zing noise of scissor,
then suddenly a loud yell of "OH SHIT!" from the 1st man.
camera shifts immediately to the left a bit
saw the lady's left leg on the chair, under the chair is a mountain of black curly hairs,
and the cigarette butt lights up the mountain stack of hairs...smoke billowing up...
then a very sharp voice the girl yelled "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!"
the cigarette guy shout back... "Daughter arr, I told you not to shave here!!!"
camera still focusing on that mountain of black curly hairs...
left side is the cigarette man's leg, right is the girl's left leg up the chair, with her left hand holding the scissor.
then both walk away from the table furiously...
camera still focusing on the stack of hairs, fire going to die up
cigarette man's leg walks inside the camera view, splash! a pail of water died out the fire...
Thud! (sound of something hitting the table) Nah! Use this!

"Tiu!, put this off the table!", sound from the woman with crabs. She swings her hand, and the object fell onto the chair, and it rolled and drop onto the stack of hairs...
The object is a SHAVER
the man walked off.

the camera view dims...


Sunday, April 1, 2012

worSE than Zimbabwe...

There is one more place that should have worse inflation than Zimbabwe. And all the $$$ there are monitored by a centralized institution called "THE HELL BANK".

And one question remains...can those notes be used in HEAVEN?

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

when an appLE is not really something you could eat...

"Life is much more simpler when APPLE and BLACKBERRY were just fruits"

And if Newton were to discover GRAVITY becoz an apple falls on his head, I wonder what will I discover when the inedible appLE falls on mine. It MUST be greater than GRAVITY!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I am gRATefUL to have a piLLow

Pillow, pillow, pillow... what you could do with it besides resting your head on it:

#1: Stash all your money in it to avoid the income tax

#2: The dream collector, just need to put a SD card in and it'll work

#3: The saliva collector...eeewww!!!

#4: The tears collector...nothing can absorb it faster than this!

#5: Treat it as the punch bag and punch until your hand is tired.

#6: You used it in a pillow fight, and by doing so, you make the feather-collectors occupation continues to be relevant.

#7: When you wanna make a prank call to someone, and you need impersonate another person's voice, you stuck it close to your mouth and say..."Hellooouuu!!!"

#8: When you just can't stand the noise from the next room, you buried yourself into it and trying to continue to sleep...

#9: When you wanna show your fishing friends a smarter way of getting all the fishes FAST...just throw into the river a pillow that hasn't been washed for a very, very, long, long time.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

spECiaL OrDER!

When you looked at the menu of OldTown, is so damn boring. If I were to own a restaurant chain like this in the future, i'll make sure the menu is interesting, and people will order dish names like this. By the way, i still remembered i have ordered a drink called "Sex on the Beach" a year back in a sandy land far far away. That very night, i virtually had one in my dreams with Sora Aoi^^...

special order!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

when i have got NOTHING to write...

A for orange

B for girl

C for dog

D for cat

E for Enough

F for Finish

G for Gee Gee Gee!

H for Hi!

I for iPhone

J for Jamoica Almond Fudge

K for Kokonut

L for eLephant

M for meowww~~~~

N for Ng Kim Hai

O for oPPaaa!~~~

P for Pee

Q for "Lui"

R for R&R

S for Sam is very leng chai

T for The Armageddon is near

U for n reversed

V for Victoree!!!

W for WaLanyeah!

X for Undilah saya!

Y for Why? Why? Mr Anderson, Why????

Z for's time to sleep liao now, and just shut the stupid computer off now and go to sleep!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

the PEAR from Belgium!

today i went to the mini market initially to buy some apples. Today there was this girl at the store, and she was there promoting the newly arrived Pear. From the short conversation i had with her, i realize that the way i speak, is really no fun at all... the conversation goes something like this...

# Promoter: Hello Sir! Do you wanna try this newly arrived Pear from Belgium? Is very nice! (while shoving to me a bunch of cut pears. I took a piece, and i put in my mouth and chewed...

# Me: Hmm....quite ok wor...just now you said what? from belgium?

# Promoter: yes right! do you wanna take one? you could store this in the fridge and it could last for three weeks.

# Me: Alright...i'll take one.

# Promoter: let me find one that is more fresh for you...nah! this is better!

# Me: okay thanks...

Then i walked away from the place. i did not even looked into her face and eyes and i don't even remember how she looks like. Lesson learnt: Always look into people and the product, don't only focus on the product. The human element is important too! Then, there is this way below i think i should have said to make the conversation more interesting. Well, next time...

# Promoter: Hello Sir! Do you wanna try this newly arrived Pear from Belgium? Is very nice! (while shoving to me a bunch of cut pears. I took a piece, and i put in my mouth and chewed...

# Me option 1: Hmm....what should i say...taste like Belgium! hahhahaha! BTW, mind you explain to me where the hell is this Belgium?

# Me option 2: How come i didn't saw you before? How come nobody come and promote to me these apples i am going to buy? you know, these apples are from America! How i wish you could be here every time i buy the apples.

# Me option 3: Look, i'll still buy this even if you say they are from planet Mars!

# Me option 4: Hello Leng lui, Do you wanna try this newly arrived apples from America? It's further away than Belgium and is also very nice!

# Promoter: yes right! do you wanna take one? you could store this in the fridge and it could last for three weeks.

# Me option 1: You know what? 3 weeks is just too long. i wish it could only last a day, so i could come back and buy from you again tomorrow!

# Me option 2: the freshest pears will be me and you plucking them in Belgium!

Monday, February 13, 2012

no, i am a human...

"Hello, welcome to MAXIS! For English, press 1, for Malay, press 2, to SPEAK to our customer representative, press 0."

So i pressed "0"


Me: Err, this a computer?!"


Me: LMAO~~~~