tOdaY, i have learnt something. Something that is happening right in front of my eyes.
I saw Mr Tall today. Mr Tall got a stroke couple of years back, and he has got problem with walking and coordination since then. And today is the wedding dinner of one of his friend's son. He was invited to the dinner. Even having walking difficulty, he still went to the dinner. He must be thinking that it is an honor to get invited, so he attended. But for the whole night, he speak not even a word. He walked past his long time buddies, he dared not look them in the eyes, he just walked past them, without even greeting them, without even saying a word. His buddies were surprised. Some were feeling disturbed. Some understood what is happening. Mr Tall must be feeling too humiliated and having no face to see his buddies. In fact he has been behaving like this ever since he got the stroke. Mr Tall must be thinking that no one want to care about him anymore, or maybe his buddies will make fun of him.
Whatever the reason, I can say that ALL his buddies don't want to see him like this. They wanna see a happy, smiling, confident, and talkative Mr Tall as he always is before this, even the one with a stroke. I know it is saddening, heart breaking and humiliating to have problem like this, but the least that can be done is to TRY to live as happy as possible with what you have left. Agonizing over it only makes things worse. It feels bad on yourself, it feels even worse on your buddies. YOUR BUDDIES WANT TO HELP YOU, BUT THEY COULD ONLY DO SO IF YOU ARE WILLING TO LET THEM HELP YOU! THEY WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY!!! THEY WANT TO SEE YOU BEAMING WITH CONFIDENCE AND SMILING LIKE A CHILD!!! AND THEY WON'T FUCK CARE WHATEVER PROBLEM THAT IS TROUBLING YOU AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY!!! Then it comes to me this conclusion:
"IT'S NOT PEOPLE DON'T GIVE YOU CHANCE, IT'S YOU THAT DON'T GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE!!!"
I know that SHIT do happens. And if it HAPPENS ON ME SOMEDAY, i hope that i'll look back at this post, and I'LL SLAP MYSELF IN THE FACE, OR MAYBE ASK SOMEONE SLAP ME IN THE FACE, AND HOPEFULLY AFTER THAT, I'LL BE AS HAPPY AS ALWAYS, FACING EACH AND EVERY MOMENT WITH CONFIDENCE AND JOY.