Michael taught me something valuable...today

I found out yesterday that i am the kind of person who is emotionless. I cannot really appreciate and recognise love from others, or even love or express love towards others. i am a very self centered person in terms of love. all i think of is me, me and me!!! That is the only conclusion i could arrive at, after noticing myself unable to even drip a drop of tears after hearing the sad news from his sister. Tonight is still the same. I saw Michael laying there, motionless, and still people around me were crying uncontrollably, and i still am holding up. What is the matter with me???

Conclusion i made:
All this while, i have been on the receiving end of the friendship with Michael, never the giver. Never even cared to give a birthday present, never even make time for a visit once in a while, never never never! Why? Becoz all i think is me, me and me!!! And i took everything for granted, that everything will last forever, everything will be there waiting for me...which is so damn wrong!

What i am gonna do:
From today onwards, i will really use my heart, to be the giver, to be working on any relationship, and not just let it slip by like this, only to regret when it is too late. I am gonna express openly of what i think to the people that matters most to me, do what i really wanna do, and i won't give a damn to what other people think of me. Life is just too short for me not to learn this lesson. Thanks for the lesson Michael. You'll always be my brother!

tiada lagi~~~ tiadA LaGi~~~

Got a call in the middle of the night at 10pm from a close friend.

Mr S: Wanna come out or not?
Me: You still haven't recovered?
Mr S: Just come, I'm at Sunway Giza
Me: It's already the *third week already, you know?

Anyway, half an hour later, i was with him on that small round table, him having a Starker beer on his hand, me having a hot Tea on my hand...he drinks, i drinks, the two singer performing live in front was really good...especially the girl singer...and she sang...

Tiada lagi yang kuharapkan~~~

Tiada lagi yang kuimpikan~~~

Biar aku sendiri tanpa dirimu~~~
Tiada lagi kata cintaku~~~
Takkan lagi ku bersamamu~~~
Biar kusimpan semua~~~
Kenanganku bersamamu~~~

Such a nice song and voice of hers, I said.
Then Mr S said: The songs said it all that is in my heart right now! Let's go sing K! I looked at my watch. 11pm. Looked up and saw his sad face. "OK! Let's do it!" I remembered myself saying that.

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[12 am] :

Tiada lagi yang kuharapkan~~~

Tiada lagi yang kuimpikan~~~

Biar aku sendiri tanpa dirimu~~~

Tiada lagi kata cintaku~~~

Takkan lagi ku bersamamu~~~

Biar kusimpan semua~~~

Kenanganku bersamamu~~~

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[1 am] :

I'm not your superwoman...oh no no no!!!~~~

I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down

and think that everything is okay...

Boy I am only human...I'm only human!!!~~~

This girl needs more than occasional hugs

as a token of love from you to me...

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My voice was as course as the sandpaper after that fucking superwoman duet with my friend...that was the ending song for the karaoke session...he seems to be happy again...at least for that instance...

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p/s: *This is week 3 after he got flied by his girlfriend. The 1st and 2nd outing at week no. 1 and no. 2, was still *manageable*...i am pretty sure there won't be a need for week no. 4.

END OF POST

home.kawaai - room color selection

Having to move soon, new room. But the color looks dull. So i thought, what the heck, i'll just paint myself this time around. With paint as cheap as RM 1 per litre, there is no reason NOT to do it. Thanks to KANSAI paint + PAR paint. (Note: This is not a sponsored blogpost!)

This is color selection version no. 1

Looks like a toilet the longer i see it, so i switch design to version 2.
Version 2 seems to be a bit nicer i think, but too bad, paint not enough. Gotta do some site modifications. Hope no disaster. Damn tired now coz yesterday paint until 12am. Tomorrow finish the remaining hopefully...now i really know that painting is not as easy as it seems...

p/s: Thanks again to my housemate who works in KANSAI paint + PAR paint, without you, this surely won't be happening. Is the cheapest and best paint I have ever bought!

why no water? why~ why~ why?!!!

Have you ever tried to brush your teeth, wash your face, and shave at the washroom at your workplace, instead of doing it at home? I had tried mine today. Woke up, open tap no water, go back room, change clothes, off i go towards the lift and car park, with bad breath from the mouth, and unshaved mustache...so fucking gross! No water to drink even...nabeh...

And now beside me is the Oral-B toothbrush, Fresh and White toothpaste and the Gillette razor packed in a plastic bag, and I am writing using my laptop at my workplace to vent the anger inside me...

my idea no 1 for apple apps: SnailMail

What is the difference between the olden days and now in terms of communication? People used to be sending each other snail mails. In the current days of so high tech-world that i live in now, people use sms lar, email lar, facebook lar, twitter lar, and even now the "what's up" thingy and even the new "pingChat" shown to me by one of my buddy the other night.

I agree that the current way of communication is way way faster(instant actually...) than those snail mails, but there is something that is still missing that is present in the low tech snail mail. Something is there in those snail mails that cannot be said, expressed, but it is there. And what the fuck is that that matters?

It's inside the word snail, which means slow and this converts to the meaning: you have to wait the other person to reply your mail, and then wait and wait and wait again for the mail to be sent by the postman or fed-ex guy through the skies and the sea and the vast land, only then reach into your mailbox. Which means one more thing: you got lots of time to guess what the other person is writing, what is the content etc etc. You mind start to imagine things that may happen, or may not happen, you start to imagine some silly things going on the other side of the world, you start to count on your calender how many days has passed since you mailed yours, and whether it has arrived or not...and all sorts of thoughts that can make you sleepless start to kick in, causing you to have panda eyes now and then...

Which converge to one more conclusion: That the "waiting" time is actually the most interesting part of the communication, because it makes you "wondering and guessing in the air" what the fuck is happening.

Conclusion: If i could just create an application that can send a message to the other sender, and it will LET THE OTHER SIDE KNOW that i have sent him / her a message, BUT the message can only be read on certain date or time of the year and thereafter. That means the receiver will have to wait for the stipulated time, before she knows of the content inside the mail. It would be so fucking interesting~~~

examples of how this is gonna be used:
--> you wish a person happy birthday 2 weeks beforehand...
--> you have done something that makes him/her angry, so angry that you'll get killed right away if you tell now, and you don't have to courage to tell right now, you send the mail now, and by the time she sees your mail, you're already out of danger zone.
--> i ran out of idea for the moment...give me some!

TSUNAMi > iF it's TOO LatE...

Tsunami just happened yesterday in Japan. Seems to be scary.
I don't know whether this kinda thing will happen in Malaysia or not. Nobody can guarantee that.

The lucky ones are able to know early and escape.
But I believe many only realize it when it is happening in front of their eyes.

If it is too late, and you know it is REALLY too late to RUN, then the only way is to face it bravely...get hold of all your closest, go to the centre of the road...look up the sky...

p/s: deepest condolences to all the victims...

Whai i learnt from "The Truman Show"

Just 30 minutes before I started to write this post, i had just finished watching the movie "The Truman Show", one of my favorites from Jim Carrey. There are many memorable scenes from the movie, but the one that really inspires me is the scene where he braved the storm and head towards his dream of getting to Fiji, the place where he believed he could find Sylvia, where he could be a freeman, out from his controlled world. And the bastard director Cristof said one thing that i think is very true : "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented".

That is why sometimes when we were too immersed into something, we thought that is the only world that we have, because that is the only world that we see. But actually, things might be totally different out there! And it is worth to explore!

All said, it is time to get to my ship, and sail off tonight! Arr...in case i don't see you, GOOD AFTERNOON, GOOD EVENING AND GOOD NIGHT! SMILE :) BOW FOR THANKS...

The home-feeL dish: TauFoo prawns

This recipe is superbly nice. The one dish that can give you the feel that you are back home, reaLLY back home. Sometimes I feel like i have wandered too far, and back home is where i want to be...

Wanna try? Here's the recipe.

Ingredients:

1. Tofu(white)10 pcs standard small ones, cubed to 1/4" x 1/2" x 1/4".
2. One bunch of small prawns.
3. A little of pork, thinly sliced.
4. Garlic and Onions chopped and grated.
5. Coriander leaves.
6. Scallion / "chung".
7. Salt
8. Tapioca starch a little bit.

Steps

1. Peel off the skin for all the prawns, then set aside for use later.

2. Heat some oil in the wok.

3. Stir fry the garlic and onion mixture first.

4. Then put in the sliced pork. (You could skip putting pork if you want, is just a matter of preference).

5. Then put in the prawns.

6. Stir fry until everything is starting to get changed color.

7. Dump in the taufoo. Stir fry it, but be a bit careful not to smash the taufoo too much.

8. Put in the salt, a little bit of ajinomoto, and water so it floods it.

9. Close the lid so that it steams the tofu a bit.

10. One pinch of tapioca flour and mix with a bit water to create the thickened liquid. Open the lid and pour over it.

11. Put in the coriander leaves and the "chung".

12. Stir a bit, then quickly serve on a nice enclosed container / plate. Voila!

home kawa-ii ideas and concept - window sill

Concept:
1. Wooden table just beside the window opening.
2. Morning sunshine ray shining through, can see the glare from the side...with some dreamy effect.
3. Place to have tea and eat together for family and friends.
4. Kung-fu chairs maybe.
5. Under the window sill, should have some downlight, for creating the shadow effect, especially at night.
6. The window must be a bit well ventilated, so you can feel the light breeze blowing to your face, while you enjoy sipping the cup of oo-long tea...
7. If you have been to "sakae sushi" outlet, you will see that they have a hot water tap beside every table. It will be nice to have one also just below the window sill. Also can make some hidden compartment for chopsticks and cutleries below the window sill...the spotlight will make it even more pretty.
8. It will be nice if outside the window got some really nice scenery...

The difference between now and then...

Chinese new year 2011

On the days of CNY, you see no one on the street along your housing area...all you see is many cars parked by the house front, people just lay inside the house all doing their private things, away from the others. People are just content with watching TV, online, facebooking, or sleeping. Or simply said, is an environment of "you-do-your-thing, i-do-mine, don't-come-bother-me!!!. I would rather spend my time watching all the rubbish programmes and movies on ASTRO, or talk or play games on the stupid iphone, even surfing the net!"

CNY on 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s as told by some old folks i met.

Everyone will be spending their time OUTSIDE their house, not INSIDE. They'll sit under the tree in front of their house, under a bench, with children playing fire crackers by the roadside. The old folks will invite their friends to gather at someone's house, and start the talking cock sessions. The uncles will gather on another table next to the bench. From afar, you see that bunch of uncles similar to a bunch of ants assembling together on a hill of sugar. Then you hear the yelling of "Pee--caahhhh!" once in a while, followed by laughters. That, is the mini Genting Highland of the village.

the aunty is not missing out too, They too have their own gangs to play on mahjong...

the younger ones, will come out and play with all sorts of fire crackers. Some are so loud that it scares the hell out of everyone. The leftover debris from the fire crackers, red in color, could pile up on the floor until five to six inch thick...