DO what you SAY and SAY what you DO...

I can now proudly say that I have achieved this status:

"WHAT I SAY, I'LL DO IT"

No more talk cock but action equals zero. And I'll remember this for the rest of my life.

Although at times, this very principle could also put you in a dangerous situation, but deep inside you know you did something great for yourself, that you honor your own promise to yourself.

And because of this principle i hold, i have made a stupid bet with a sohai that whoever fails will have to chop off 2 inches. At the end of the day, we both get to keep the 2 inches. Lucky, I still remain at 8 inches. I don't know about my sohai friend though. Wow! Talking about high stakes!

what "despicable me" taught me?

1. That it is possible to steal the moon!

2. That being a villain can be so, so, cool.

3. That Lehman Brothers Bank = Evil Bank

4. If you could dream it, you could build it! (The home-made rocket could be built also mar...)

5. Cookies are the best weapon of all.

6. Some people will never ever be impressed by anything great you have done. All they could say is...huh?

7. Missiles are just overrated, a fat guy could just jump over and dodge them at point blank.

8. In the near future, North Korea will have the most advanced technology, coz they will be the one to invent "Shrink Ray" gun.

short movie script: don't JUMP to conclusion

imagine this

in a coffee shop....
background music is those old old chinese songs...
scene of the ceiling fans...

scene 1 :
Under the coffee table, the foot wearing a slipper, legs scratching, saw a mountain of cigarette butts piling...
A new butt gets thrown down...and the ant that passes by got stacked by it, and on fire...

camera moves to scene 2: to the left of the round table...
A man's leg on a short, and legs shaking vigorously...
wearing the slipper cap seng tat
a big pile of kuaci was on the floor...

camera moves to scene 3: to the left
A woman's leg wearing a yellow boot aka those phua chu kang style, and beside her is a basket filled with cleaned crabs...
another crab is falling down...

camera moves to scene 4: to the left
A beautiful girls's leg, with nice Jimmy Choo's shoes, nice complexion, and skin is as smooth as the silk...
sexy music on the background...
the floor is clean
the camera focuses on her beautiful legs up the thigh...
but there is this strange zing-zing noise of scissor,
then suddenly a loud yell of "OH SHIT!" from the 1st man.
camera shifts immediately to the left a bit
saw the lady's left leg on the chair, under the chair is a mountain of black curly hairs,
and the cigarette butt lights up the mountain stack of hairs...smoke billowing up...
then a very sharp voice the girl yelled "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!"
the cigarette guy shout back... "Daughter arr, I told you not to shave here!!!"
camera still focusing on that mountain of black curly hairs...
left side is the cigarette man's leg, right is the girl's left leg up the chair, with her left hand holding the scissor.
then both walk away from the table furiously...
camera still focusing on the stack of hairs, fire going to die up
cigarette man's leg walks inside the camera view, splash! a pail of water died out the fire...
Thud! (sound of something hitting the table) Nah! Use this!

"Tiu!, put this off the table!", sound from the woman with crabs. She swings her hand, and the object fell onto the chair, and it rolled and drop onto the stack of hairs...

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The object is a SHAVER
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the man walked off.

the camera view dims...

credits...

worSE than Zimbabwe...

There is one more place that should have worse inflation than Zimbabwe. And all the $$$ there are monitored by a centralized institution called "THE HELL BANK".

And one question remains...can those notes be used in HEAVEN?

when an appLE is not really something you could eat...

"Life is much more simpler when APPLE and BLACKBERRY were just fruits"

And if Newton were to discover GRAVITY becoz an apple falls on his head, I wonder what will I discover when the inedible appLE falls on mine. It MUST be greater than GRAVITY!

I am gRATefUL to have a piLLow

Pillow, pillow, pillow... what you could do with it besides resting your head on it:

#1: Stash all your money in it to avoid the income tax

#2: The dream collector, just need to put a SD card in and it'll work

#3: The saliva collector...eeewww!!!

#4: The tears collector...nothing can absorb it faster than this!

#5: Treat it as the punch bag and punch until your hand is tired.

#6: You used it in a pillow fight, and by doing so, you make the feather-collectors occupation continues to be relevant.

#7: When you wanna make a prank call to someone, and you need impersonate another person's voice, you stuck it close to your mouth and say..."Hellooouuu!!!"

#8: When you just can't stand the noise from the next room, you buried yourself into it and trying to continue to sleep...

#9: When you wanna show your fishing friends a smarter way of getting all the fishes FAST...just throw into the river a pillow that hasn't been washed for a very, very, long, long time.

spECiaL OrDER!

When you looked at the menu of OldTown, is so damn boring. If I were to own a restaurant chain like this in the future, i'll make sure the menu is interesting, and people will order dish names like this. By the way, i still remembered i have ordered a drink called "Sex on the Beach" a year back in a sandy land far far away. That very night, i virtually had one in my dreams with Sora Aoi^^...

when i have got NOTHING to write...

A for orange

B for girl

C for dog

D for cat

E for Enough

F for Finish

G for Gee Gee Gee!

H for Hi!

I for iPhone

J for Jamoica Almond Fudge

K for Kokonut

L for eLephant

M for meowww~~~~

N for Ng Kim Hai

O for oPPaaa!~~~

P for Pee

Q for "Lui"

R for R&R

S for Sam is very leng chai

T for The Armageddon is near

U for n reversed

V for Victoree!!!

W for WaLanyeah!

X for Undilah saya!

Y for Why? Why? Mr Anderson, Why????

Z for ZZZ...it's time to sleep liao now, and just shut the stupid computer off now and go to sleep!

the PEAR from Belgium!

today i went to the mini market initially to buy some apples. Today there was this girl at the store, and she was there promoting the newly arrived Pear. From the short conversation i had with her, i realize that the way i speak, is really no fun at all... the conversation goes something like this...

# Promoter: Hello Sir! Do you wanna try this newly arrived Pear from Belgium? Is very nice! (while shoving to me a bunch of cut pears. I took a piece, and i put in my mouth and chewed...

# Me: Hmm....quite ok wor...just now you said what? from belgium?

# Promoter: yes right! do you wanna take one? you could store this in the fridge and it could last for three weeks.

# Me: Alright...i'll take one.

# Promoter: let me find one that is more fresh for you...nah! this is better!

# Me: okay thanks...

Then i walked away from the place. i did not even looked into her face and eyes and i don't even remember how she looks like. Lesson learnt: Always look into people and the product, don't only focus on the product. The human element is important too! Then, there is this way below i think i should have said to make the conversation more interesting. Well, next time...

# Promoter: Hello Sir! Do you wanna try this newly arrived Pear from Belgium? Is very nice! (while shoving to me a bunch of cut pears. I took a piece, and i put in my mouth and chewed...

# Me option 1: Hmm....what should i say...taste like Belgium! hahhahaha! BTW, mind you explain to me where the hell is this Belgium?

# Me option 2: How come i didn't saw you before? How come nobody come and promote to me these apples i am going to buy? you know, these apples are from America! How i wish you could be here every time i buy the apples.

# Me option 3: Look, i'll still buy this even if you say they are from planet Mars!

# Me option 4: Hello Leng lui, Do you wanna try this newly arrived apples from America? It's further away than Belgium and is also very nice!

# Promoter: yes right! do you wanna take one? you could store this in the fridge and it could last for three weeks.

# Me option 1: You know what? 3 weeks is just too long. i wish it could only last a day, so i could come back and buy from you again tomorrow!

# Me option 2: the freshest pears will be me and you plucking them in Belgium!

no, i am a human...

"Hello, welcome to MAXIS! For English, press 1, for Malay, press 2, to SPEAK to our customer representative, press 0."

So i pressed "0"

"---Hello---good---morning---how---may---i---help---you---?"

Me: Err,...is this a computer?!"

"---No---i---am---a---human---"

Me: LMAO~~~~